Moments of presence

     Many of us, from young adults to our elders, have moments that penetrate through the hustle and bustle of daily life.  It is as if for just a second or two we step out of time and sense ourselves and our world differently.  The normal attachment to thoughts and feelings has been suspended, and it is maybe at this time that we wonder about our lives, our place in this world, and the question, “Is there something else?”.

     We have answered that question in many ways, dedication to work, relationships, families, places of worship.  We have answered that question with continued attempts at living a good life, adhering to values, breathing life into our aspirations, of being a better person and contributing to a better world. 

     Our dissatisfaction with the way things are, life with its successes and failures, has sometimes led to unhealthy habits, ways of escape, of feeding unresolved concerns and conflicts with activities that provide only temporary relief.  But then these moments occur when we are presented with ourselves as we are, behaviours and attitudes that change in their appearance but in substance remain persistent constituents of our daily lives.

     Perhaps in these moments of pause we come to a recognition that this life is truly miraculous and at the same time inexplicable.  Thoughts, psychologies, philosophies, even religious beliefs, may not penetrate through to our “inner sanctum”.  We have entered into an experience of wonder and unknowing that can not be mollified or encapsulated by ways of thinking and feeling.  We have entered into a direct experience of inner life, and an opportunity to grow in perhaps as yet unplumbed and unawakened depths.

The journey

     Some of us have embarked on an outward search to find answers, to find someone or some group who has traveled along this path and can shed light and provide clarity.  Along the way we have met others who we recognize as fellow “travelers”.  And so the question broadens, can I share my search, my inner life experience, with others so that we can help and learn from each other?  Are there women and men who have walked this road before us from whom we can benefit, who can provide guidance?

     My own personal journey began at an early age when I recognized the life and suffering in others in such a way that I was never able to forget – for me this was the awakening of conscience.  And then as an adolescent it became clear that I accepted life without questioning, as if it made sense to have a body and act as I did, and it did not, and this became the kernel of a different form of consciousness.

     My quest brought me to a book, In Search of the Miraculous, by P.D. Ouspensky and an introduction through that book to the ideas of a man named George Ivanovitch Gurdjieff.  After finding and devouring Mr. Gurdjieff’s book, All and Everything, I set out to find someone who had known Gurdjieff and could help me understand his ideas.  In 1971 I met Mr. Nyland, who had spent 25 years working with Mr. Gurdjieff, and then, after Gurdjieff’s death in 1949, started and maintained groups for the study and practical application in daily life of personal work for the development of one’s inner life.

A gathering

     My adult life has been one of working with others in values and spiritually oriented environments.  Whether running a recreational summer camp, in music performance, teaching music, basketball, Pilates, the foundation was always how, through these activities, we could come to know ourselves, develop skills and capacities for living and being a part of a greater community.  In the course of these many years I have had a chance to communicate with others, both individually and in small and larger groups, about an inner life journey, an attempt at being present to oneself and one’s life in truthful and essential ways.

     The time has come to bring together a group of people to meet on a regular basis with the purpose of sharing, honestly and openly, about inner life and its development.  Do our more essential moments herald the possibilty of growth? Can life itself, as found in each of us, manifest and evolve in as yet unexplored ways?  Is there a common ground of experience and a resulting common language that can be developed?

An openness

     Each of us has travelled her or his own unique path, has benefited from relationships with individuals, groups and cultures that have played a significant role in our lives.  It is important to remember that the outer forms of these influences have as their source the inner content of our experience.  We must always return to our own truth, however that may be articulated, and find a commonality with others that is free from the prejudices imposed by the language and practice of any discipline.

     In my case, my respect for Mr. Nyland and Mr. Gurdjieff has remained intact since 1971.  They both insisted that we must discover and verify for ourselves our own understanding of work on oneself, a personal relationship with inner truth and growth.  Beginning in the early 1950’s up until his death in 1976 Mr. Nyland spoke and responded to questions at over 2,500 recorded meetings, many of which have been transcribed.  This material is available to us as a resource.

     Mr. Gurdjieff’s life was characterized by a tireless search with others to uncover the wisdom of past civilizations and its relevance to us under the conditions in which we now live.  His efforts to share the results of his discoveries can be found in part in a “fable” of grand proportion entitled “All and Everthing – Beelzebub’s Tales to His Grandson”.         

     Coming together for the purpose of inner growth must not exclude, contradict, or be in conflict with any other activity or source in our lives of value or spirituality.  There is only one suggested threshold for being a part of this “joining of fellow travelers” which I call  a group for inner life study – it is a willingness to explore openly questions of self-development through effort.  There is no need to accept or believe in anything, nor to appropriate and regurgitate a “teaching” or a “language”.

The first meeting

     Meetings of a group for inner life study are open, intended to provide an atmosphere in which people can explore and articulate personal experiences and queries presented by life’s challenges and search for meaning, all the while maintaining respect for the unique path each of us has travelled.  It is important to remember that there are those who have come before us from whom we can benefit, among whom are Mr. Nyland and Mr. Gurdjieff.  These discussions will be accompanied by the introduction of short passages from Gurdjieff’s writings and Mr. Nylands meetings in an attempt to find a common language and benefit from their work dedicated to the purpose of helping others.

     To begin with, a group for inner life study will convene via an internet service such as Zoom – one can participate by phone, online audio or video.  The meetings will be 75 to 90 minutes in length, and in the beginning will be opened and moderated by John Henry Goldman and a small number of others known and respected by John Henry for their many years of experience.  In time a physical location in the Princeton, New Jersey area will be available for in person meetings.  Those unable to attend in person or who live at longer distances will always have an opportunity to be a part by phone or online service.

     If you are interested please call John Henry at the group’s dedicated phone line (609-250-5342) or  email johnhenrygoldman@innerlifestudy.org.   If you know someone who might be interested please do not hesitate to pass along this “invitation” and suggest that she or he be in touch with me directly.  Those who wish to join the first series of meetings will be asked for times that are available – we expect to establish two meeting times each week to accommodate the schedules of those involved.

     Please do not hesitate to call or email with any questions or if you would like to have a personal discussion about what you have read here and if or how it might be something in which you would like to participate.

     Thank you for taking the time to read this invitation.